The Return of Mami Tomoe (AKA: Chilled Served Vengeance)
by Vintage Sniper
Summary: After Mami's death, Madoka's quest for a funeral director takes them to the Sussex Market Town of Leamsford. They meet people like Mark Jackson, the Funeral Director, the clergy and laity of St Paul's church, and 900 days later, me and my friend arrive in Leamsford, having gotten lost and Mami comes back to life and we help her and her friends avenge her own death! Or Pendle Hill?
1. The quest for a funeral director

_**The Return of Mami Tomoe**_

Cast List:

Mami Tomoe as Herself

Madoka Kaname as Herself

Homura Akemi as Herself

Sayaka Miki as Herself

Kyubey as Himself

Kyoko Sakura as herself

Vintage Sniper as myself

Strange Heavy as My Friend *using our TF2 Alter Egos*

Mark Jackson as the Undertaker

Jane Jackson as Mark's wife

Jim Williams as the Vicar of St Paul's

Kevin Clark as the Churchwarden of St Paul's

Dave Roberts as the Organist of St Paul's

John Woodcock as the Clock keeper

Norman Frazer as the Tower Captain at St Stephen's

Melanie Jones as the Vicar of St Stephen's

Stephen Lister as the Organist of St Stephen's

Ellen and Peter Wright as the newly married couple

Sid Brampton as the Ticket Man

Daniel Robinson as the Train Driver

Wendy as the Florist

Church Ladies:

Helen Walsden

Mary Pinder

Justine Smith

Therese Hollywell

Mildred Anderson

Other people as their respective selves.

* * *

It was near the end of the actual anime series of Puella Magi Madoka Magica, they were engaged in a big fighter against Charlotte's big monster. But soon, things were turning from bad to worse. As the Monster was fighting, it began to feel hungry and made a Bee Line for Mami Tomoe. Mami tried but she got her head bitten off by the monster and fell down dead on the floor.

"MAMI!" yelled the girls. Kyubey acted quickly to make sure that none of the other girls were harmed, he lured the monster out with a piece of cheese. "Here!" he said and grabbed it's attention. The Monster looked at the Cheese. It looked all ready to eat. "You have to come and get it!" said Kyubey and flew of with the cheese. The Monster followed him with the cheese.

Kyubey then put the plate of cheese down a darted off to where the other magic girls were, while the Monster ate the cheese. The other magic girls were all grief stricken at their fallen friend.

"Oh shit...Mami...NOOOOOOO!" screamed Madoka.

"Dammit" groaned Sayaka "She did not deserve this"

"I wish I'd of gotten eaten instead" said Kyoko "Then you would of wished me back to life again"

"It only works once" said Madoka "Mami's already died twice so it won't work again"

"Shit" groaned Kyoko

"You cannot risk your life Kyoko" said Homura firmly "This just goes to show that we are all fucked, come on, lets go...our magic is gonna wear off and we need to take Mami with us"

"Homura's right" said Sayaka "Lets get outta here"

"I'll take Mami" said Madoka "We cannot bring her back to life"

As they retreated the area, with Mami's corpse, the magic totally wore off. Kyubey followed them back to their safe spot, where Madoka lay Mami's headless corpse on the table. There was nothing they could do. Homura was considering quitting the fights. "That goes to show that I am not prepared to risk my life in such a risky situation" she said grouchily "I am not gonna be hunting for witches anymore, I don't want be end up in the same water as Mami. You guys will have to go on without me" The others were horrified.

"But that would mean we are 2 girls down!" protested Sayaka "And what use is Me, Madoka, Kyoko and Kyubey without you?" Homura grunted "No, it's too dangerous, I nearly got eaten myself, and we could all of been fucked"

"Stuff and Nonsense!" spluttered Kyoko "We are not fucked, we are stronger than them witches will ever be!" Homura was not taking any of it "Mami's dead!" she said firmly "WE, ARE, FUCKED, UP, THE, ARSE!" Madoka stepped in. "Don't quit Homura!" she said "We are just going to have to go on without Mami, and your efforts are valuable" Homura gave in. "Fine" she grunted "But I swear to God if another of us goes down, I am out"

The other girls gulped at it. But Homura was not quitting this time. Then they pondered what to do with Mami. "We need to find a funeral director" said Sayaka "We cannot use any more magic on her, we have no choice" Madoka almost cried but then she had to go with it, and she looked in a book for suitable funeral directors. "Ok" she said "Hang on I am finding someone to deal with it" as she scoured through the papers. Then she found the company that was the best to her. "Jacksons of Leamsford funeral directors" based at the town of Leamsford in East Sussex, England.

"That's in Sussex" said Madoka "But they say this company is good, so we should let them see to Mami" The other Magic girls looked at Madoka. "Where is Leamsford?" asked Sayaka. "It's in East Sussex between Eastbourne and Royal Tunbridge Wells" said Madoka. Homura wiped the sweat from her forehead. "Well...if you say so" she replied coldly.

* * *

Leamsford is a Market town in the Ryre District of East Sussex, with a population of 25,200 people as of 2011. It is situated between the seaside town of Eastbourne and the Kent Spa resort of Royal Tunbridge Wells and is 40 miles from London. It's the headquarters of Ryre District Council that covers a lot of the surrounding area. It's most prominent sights in the town is the guildhall dating from 1220, the oldest one in England, now a museum, The ruins of it's Norman Castle, that of course was destroyed in the English civil war, The Parish Church of St Stephen dating back from 1110 replacing an earlier Saxon building, the River Ryre that runs through town, and many more. North of the town is the Sussex Plain, along Ryre Valley that cuts through the Wealds with flat fertile farmland and vinyards on the valley slopes. South of the town is the South Downs, popular with walkers. It's served well by transport links, and is one of those 'Primary Destinations' that are highlighted in Green on your roadmap. It has bus services to nearby places like Uckfield, Tunbridge Wells, and more. It has it's own railway station operated by Southern trains on it's own branch line from Brunsbury, a town also in the Ryre District, and a few miles south of Tunbridge Wells. The line used to run to Eastbourne, but it was closed in 1965 due to the Beeching Axe, since then, Leamsford has been a terminus. Unlike a lot of railways in the area, the Leamsford line does not have Third Rail electrification, so Class 171 units are used instead. There are 2 trains per hour to London Bridge via Tunbridge Wells, Tonbridge and Redhill. One more thing, Brunsbury and a the nearby villages of Botley, Kirlden and Wyrmtham were part of Kent until 1974, when they became part of the Ryre District in East Sussex. Anyways, enough of that back onto the main storyline.

* * *

Madoka phoned up Mark Jackson, the owner of Jackson of Leamsford Funeral Directors. His family had run the business for 3 generations, when his Grandfather had first set it up in 1930 at the tender age of 20 having completed his apprenticeship, 5 years later, Mark's father was born as the world was veering towards WW2. During WW2. Mark's inherited the business from his father when he retired in 2000 at the age of 33, and at that time, his wife Jane, was pregnant with their first child. 2 years later, Mark's grandfather died just a week after his 92nd Birthday, and Mark had to arrange his own Grandfather's funeral. Oh the irony!

Mark picked up the phone. "Hello, Mark Jackson of Jacksons of Leamsford Funeral Directors, how can I help?" he asked over the phone. Madoka replied "Hello, it's Madoka Kaname, can you help us please Mark?" Mark replied "What Can I do for you?" Madoka explained "Our great friend Mami Tomoe has been killed, and I've been looking for funeral directors and you were recommended" Mark smiled at Madoka saying that he was recommended "Oh thank you" he said "So, as far as you know Madoka, how did Mami die?" Madoka explained it all.

"Holy shit!" exclaimed Mark "I've dealt with Road killed people, but someone half consumed by a monster...I feel like I'm gonna throw up!" Mark Choked and gulped, and swallowed the stomach contents back down into his stomach before he vomited it out. He carried on "So, would you like to arrange a funeral then" he asked. "Yes Please" replied Madoka. "We will come over to Leamsford with her body, there you can sort things out"

"Okay" replied Mark "I'll see what I can do, I'll see you when you arrive, good luck" and then he put the phone down.

Madoka turned to the other girls. "Mark is going to sort us out" she said "We need to go to Leamsford with Mami's body, and we to find him" Homura looked at Madoka "What is his adress" she asked "It's 20 Woodfield Road" replied Madoka. "Now lets get over there and let him sort Mami out" The other girls agreed

* * *

Meanwhile, Mark made a date for the Funeral, 24th April 2012. He phoned Melanie Jones, the Vicar of St Stephen's, yes, a lady vicar. "Ah...no sorry" replied Reverend Melanie "We have a wedding on on that day, but I could arrange the funeral for the 25th if you want Mark" Mark replied "No, I arranged it for the 24th, no problem Mel, but if St Paul's is taken, I'll get back to you" "Okay" replied Reverend Melanie "No worries Mark, but we'd have to change the church over quickly. But that won't be too much of a problem. I think Reverend Jim is back from his holiday, so you should be able to get to him, if not, get back to me, cheers Mark" and she put the phone down. Mark accepted Reverend Melanie's offer if St Paul's was engaged on the 24th.

Mark phoned Jim Williams, the Vicar of St Paul's church. "Yes, we have nothing happening on the 24th" Replied Reverend Jim "It is all good to go, there should not be a problem with that Mark" "Thanks Jim" replied Mark after the conversation "You're a good'un" and he put the phone down. He then had to wait until Madoka arrived with Mami's corpse.

Reverend Jim spoke to Kevin Clark, the Churchwarden at St Paul's, and he was okay with it. "We need to phone Dave" he said.

_Authors' notes:_

_Pardon my inaccuracies, I've not watch Puelli Magi Magica Madoka yet, only just learning about it._

_Leamsford is not a real place, as you probably figured out. It is however on a route I am making on Train Simulator 2015, remaking the Branch Line from Brunsbury to Leamsford, Operated currently by Southern Trains_

_Leamsford is also the administrative centre of Ryre District Council, again, that is not real, In real life, it's area would be parts of the Rother and Wealden districts. Brunsbury is the second largest town in the district with a population of 13,72, followed by 2 small towns of Sledbridge and Whorleigh, both with populations of 3,400 and 2,200, however, Worleigh is the only town in the district not to be served by a railway, as it was on the Leamsford to Eastbourne railway that closed in 1965. The total district population is around 70,000. However, Wadhurst remains in the Rother district just on the border with the Ryre, the villages to the north east that really are in Rother, like Frant and surrounding villages are part of the Ryre._

_As previously mentioned, Brunsbury, Botley, Kirlden and Wyrmtham were part of Kent until the local government redrawing of the borders, they were transferred to East Sussex in the Ryre district._

_The town's name is pronounced 'lehmz-ford' in the same manner as Leamington Spa, with the ea said like l**e**mon, not 'leemz-ford' or Lee, hope I cleared it up._

_I have been to East Sussex while on Holiday to Kent in 2007, and visited Tunbridge Wells._

_Mark Jackson was born on the same day as the late Kurt Cobain of Nirvana, 20th February 1967. Also, Stephen Lister, Organist at St Stephen's was born on the same day as both of them as well._


	2. The meeting with Mark

Madoka and the other arrived at Mark's place. They had with them the headless corpse of Mami. Madoka rang the doorbell. "Mark, we're here!" she chirped, and then Mark went and answered the door. "Hello" he said "Follow me and I'll lead you to the casket room, there we'll see what has become of your friend" and he led the girls through the house into the casket room that was in a separate building next to the house. When they go in, Madoka lay Mami down on the table and Mark had a look.

"HOLY FUCK!" he screamed and then ran out the door to throw up. He came back in. "Fuck that was gruesome, can one of you get me a glass of water" Homura went to get Mark some water almost treading in his vomit. "I though as a mortician, your stomach was better suited to that" said Madoka. Mark was embarrassed, never in his 12 years of being a funeral director had it made him throw up. "I never normally" said Mark "Never in my 12 years of working here has it made me throw up, but that were fucking gruesome! Thanks Homura!" and he took a drink from the glass.

Mark then went over to Mami's headless body. "How in the name of Lord Lavender's arsehole did that happen?!" he exclaimed "Her head was eaten by a monster form of Charlotte" replied Sayaka "And who is Lord Lavender?" "Never you mind" replied Mark. "We've been fighting Witches" explained Madoka "We are magic girls, and we have had some near death experiences but we have been wished back to life, but this only works once, Mami has died twice so it is no longer effective, Homura considers quitting if one of us gets killed again"

"But we had our arses handed to use" replied Homura.

"Stop whinging!" snapped Kyoko "We will fight to the end, regardless!"

"Were you fighting the Witches of Pendle Hill in Lancashire?" asked Mark. "Uh no" replied Madoka but she did know of the legend of the Pendle Witches. "It's the curse of Pendle" she said "Everyone from Nelson and Burnley has been cursed by it, but Colne is safe..." Homura and Sayaka however had been up Pendle Hill, but there was no Witches there. "There was no witches when me and Sayaka went to Pendle Hill" replied Homura "But we stayed at the most shitty place in Nelson possible!" "Fucking Chavs!" chimed in Sayaka "But there is a legend to it, we would of needed to travelled back in time to actually fought the witches, but there is still the curse of the Hill. I blame that for the death of Mami"

"What?!" Kyoko, Madoka and Mark said in unison.

"The Curse of Pendle Hill" replied Sayaka "I blame it for the death of Mami" and she sat down as Mark had another sip from his glass of water. "Nelson, a shitty old Mill Town in Pennine Lancashire!" blurted Homura "Chavs, Asian Gangs, Drunks, Crime, Ugly Terrace houses, You fucking name it! But Burnley is as bad, if not worse than Nelson" Everyone jumped at what Homura said except for Sayaka. The two of them knew all to well. The whole district of Pendle and even the former Yorkshire towns of Barnoldswick and Earby were all cursed, not so much Barnoldswick and Earby that had been safe from 90% of the curse, having being in Yorkshire until 1974, but even still, the whole of Pendle District had been cursed to some extent in different areas.

But neighbouring Burnley was the worst cursed of it all. Back in the days of Victorian Mills and part of the ancient parish of Whalley, some 150 years earlier, the curse was not as bad until it gradually got worse and then, 400 years after the Pendle Witch trials, when Homura and Sayaka were there, the curse of Pendle was at it's fullness. To make matters worse, it was a full moon. But why Homura and Sayaka had not seen any Witches was because they all came out when they were both asleep.

"I wish we had enough money for that hotel in Barnoldswick!" said Sayaka hastily "There it would not of been so bad than that sweltering hot Youth Hostel" "The only other option was to sleep on the street Sayaka" replied Homura "But we would have been exposed to the Gangs, Drunks, Thugs of Nelson, or worse, the Witches themselves"

This sent a shiver down everyone's spine. By now it seemed apparent that Mami's death was the curse of Pendle Hill. But no one knew for sure. Mark finished his glass and turned his attention to Mami's headless body. "Well this is East Sussex" he said "You will be fine, there is no witches or curses around here, please do not worry!" The girls soon calmed down.

Mark went over to find a suitable coffin for Mami. As he was looking, Kyoko noticed his suit being stored in cupboard nearby. "Mark" she asked "Why do you store your suit here?" Mark replied "I can't hear you, I am too busy looking for a coffin, ask me when I come out!" "Ok" replied Kyoko. "Why would he store an expensive suit like that in here anyway?" puzzled Sayaka. "Does he has some sort of fetish for 'Fashionium Mortem'?" The other girls stared at Sayaka.

Mark came out with a coffin. "Okay what was it you wanted to ask me?" he said to Kyoko.

"Why do you store your suit here?" asked Kyoko

"Oh" replied Mark "I store my best clothes in the cupboard in the coffin room so no one else can get to it, I find it a safe place, and there is no more room in our house for more wardrobes"

"Oh" said Madoka "That is why, and where did you get it Mark?"

"It was designer made in Tunbridge Wells" replied Mark "I wear that suit when it's a funeral day and I am delivering the coffin to church. It was quite expensive though, designer cloths don't come cheap, especially from Tunbridge Wells. I have another suit, this time made in Tonbridge, it's slightly less expensive but still not cheap, I use then for when I am out having a meal or attending birthdays, etc" The girls looked in surprise. "One has to sharp dress at funerals I guess" said Homura blandly. "That is funeral tradition Homura" said Sayaka. "Can we have a look at your suits?" asked Madoka excitedly. "Sure" replied Mark and went to get his funeral suit.

"This is the one that was designer made in Tunbridge Wells" said Mark, the girls looked in awe, but Mark firmly told them not to be so blown away by it. "It is black, hence black is worn as a sign of mourning and paying respect to the deceased." Said Mark "That is funeral tradition, Black has been a colour of mourning for sometime, I don't exactly know for sure, but Queen Victoria wore black for the rest of her reign after Prince Albert died in 1861" The girls looked grimly at the suit. "It was designer made in Tunbridge Wells" said Madoka with her eyes sparkling "That why we got so blown away" Mark put the suit back and then showed the suit that was made in Tonbridge.

"Well well well" said Kyoko "That is another very nice suit, but this time it is grey"

"Yes" replied Mark "It is grey so I don't confuse the two with each other, I once went to a funeral wearing the wrong suit!" and the girls laughed but Mark blushed.

"Anyway" said Mark "Enough with the suit business, we need to see to Mami's coffin" and he put the other suit away and shut the wardrobe.

Mark came back and put some rubber gloves on. "Pass me the corpse please Madoka" he said to Madoka. Madoka then passed over Mami's headless corpse to him. Mark then lined her up and got ready to see if she would fit the coffin. It was a slight advantage that Mami had no head so she would take up slightly less space in the coffin, but it was the width that counted more than the hight.

Mark tried to squeeze Mami into the coffin but she did not fit in.

"Nope" said Mark "Doesn't fit. The coffin is too thin, I would need to find a wider coffin" He then took Mami's corpse out and lay her on the table again, but gave some rubber gloves to Madoka. "You will have to pass her to me every time" he said and took the coffin back to the storeroom.

He presently arrived with a wider coffin, but it was shorter than the other coffin. "It was the first one I could find" said Mark "I just hope this is going to fit! This one is used in the unfortunate event of a child death, or a small person's death"

"Have you had to use it for a child?" asked Sayaka. "I'm afraid So" replied Mark "There was a 7 year old girl who had terminal cancer and she was given 4 months to live when the diagnosis was made. But she died 2 months later and I had to deal with her funeral" Tears began to well in Mark's eyes. "It makes me cry" sniffed Mark "But it's my job, I know I have to deal with the most heartbreaking cases, even a teenage girl who died of being chronically underweight due to bulimia"

"That's horrible" said Kyoko "That must make your job sometimes shit" "I know" replied Mark "I've had to deal with a toddler who died of Leukaemia, despite a lot of fundraising campaigns, a 6 year old Boy who died of a heart defect, and I can go on." "At the end of the day it's your job" said Madoka.

"True, true" said Mark and wiped his eye on his jumper. Then he asked Madoka to pass over Mami's corpse and he tried again. He uniformly lined her body up to see if it would fit in the coffin, the lack of head seemed an advantage as this was a shorter coffin. Though it was wider and fitted her sides perfectly, it was not long enough, even for Mami's headless body. "Nope" said Mark "We need to balance the two together" Mark had to look for a coffin that was a perfect fit.

Mark looked at his coffin collection. This was going to be tricky. At last, he found the coffin that he was looking for. "This should work" he said as he grabbed the coffin and wiped the dust off with a cloth. He then came through and lay the coffin down on the ground. "Third Time lucky, I hope" he said and then asked Madoka to pass over Mami's corpse.

"Alright, here we go" said Mark and he positioned the limbs ready and then the moment of truth came. Mami's corpse fitted into the casket. "There we are" said Mark. "But the fact that she has got no head seems to make me feel a bit weary of leaving the coffin open, even in the Chapel of Rest" "What do you mean?" puzzled Madoka. "I think it's best to keep the coffin closed" said Mark. Then he ordered the girls to help him carry the coffin to the Chapel of Rest. "One, two, three, LIFT!" Said Mark and he and the girls walked towards the Chapel of Rest.

Mark unlocked the door and told the girls to lift again. "One, two, three, LIFT!" he said and they walked into the Chapel. This Chapel was built shortly after the war, until then, Mark's grandfather used the cellar as the Chapel of Rest. They lifted down the coffin and they all heaved a sigh of relief.

"Whew" remarked Homura "That was a job in itself"

"I'm pooped" remarked Sayaka "I did not know that it would be that heavy"

"I had to play my part" said Kyoko who was not directly involved in any lifting but had to guide the coffin to the Chapel of Rest.

"We had to do it" said Madoka "I don't know how Mark does it if he is on is own, or does he get someone else to help"

Mark was going for the light switch to turn the light on. There was a big flash of blue and a smashing sound. The room went dark again. One of the bulbs had blown. "Holy shit!" exclaimed Sayaka.

"The bulb must of blown" said Homura.

"You're right there, the bulb has gone" Said Mark "I am going to have to get another one, stay here, don't leave the Chapel" and he went into the house. "Love, the bulb in the Chapel has gone" he said to his Wife Jane. "Oh no" said Jane "We had to replace the bulb in the landing light and now we need to replace one in the Chapel?" She could not believe it. "Yes" said Mark "Love, could you go into the cupboard and get me another light bulb please" Jane went into the cupboard to find a light bulb. She looked around the cupboard. "Ah, there we are" she said as she spotted the box with the light bulbs. "But we are going to have to buy some more from Homebase" she said to Mark. "Alright Love" replied Mark "Hand me the bulb would you?" Jane handed Mark the bulb and he set off back to the Chapel of Rest.

_Authors Notes:_

_If you've not heard of the legend of the Pendle Witches, then you don't know about Witches at all! The Pendle Witch trials were held in 1612, 400 years before the events in this story. Pendle also gives it's name to a district of Lancashire, that includes Nelson, Colne, Briefield, and the ex Yorkshire towns of Barnoldswick and Earby. _

_When Sayaka says "Fashionium Mortem" she is saying Fashion of the Dead in a gobbledygook version of Latin. _

_When Prince Albert died in 1861, Queen Victoria wore black as a sign of Mourning and grief for he deceased husband, this is most likely where the fashion of wearing black at a funeral of a sign of mourning originates, though I don't know for sure. _


	3. The Funeral Arrangements

Mark returned to the Chapel of Rest with the new bulb ready to be fitted. "Well" he said "This means we need to buy more bulbs from Homebase!" and he went and fitted the light bulb on to the the fitting. He then turned on the light switch and the Chapel was lit up. "Well let there be light" said Madoka "In the words of God" Mark then sat down and had a chat with the girls.

"Do you know where Mami's parents are?" he asked them. "They've been dead since 2008" replied Homura. "They died in a car crash when Mami was 11, so she has been rather lonely" said Madoka. "Shit" exclaimed Mark "That must be horrible" "It certainly was" said Sayaka and Kyoko in unison. But that was bad enough without being eaten by a fucking monster...

Aside that. "You have had many positive reviews, and a lot of recommendations" said Madoka "Is that right Mark?" "Yes" replied Mark "So many, that people from all over the place seem to have come over in the past!" "All over the place?" asked Sayaka "Like all the way from The Czech Republic, Slovenia, Crete or Pakistan for a funeral?"

"No no no no" laughed Mark "Not as far as that, yeah, I've been getting some people from quite some distance, there was one person who came as far west as Yeovil in Somerset. I've had plenty of people from London, but someone came as far north as Peterborough, and as far east as Great Yarmouth! That is all over the place!" Madoka laughed "You must be popular then!" They all exchanged some giggles before Sayaka asked for some tea.

"Erm...no problem" replied Mark "I should have one myself, so there should be one teacup each for you" and he went off to turn the kettle on. Then he presently came back with the tea. "Thanks" said the girls and they carried on the chat while drinking tea with Mark. Sayaka noticed something. "Hmm" she said "This tea does not taste like what I am used to, where did you get this tea Mark?" "Got it from Tesco" replied Mark "It is supposed to be their Tesco Value Range tea" Sayaka looked at Mark "That does taste rather bland to me, but I'll carry on drinking it" she said. Madoka had a different idea "Mami would of liked this tea" she said quietly.

"So, Mark" said Homura "Where else had you had people from?" Mark replied "Oh, the surrounding villages, like Cottington, Carleton, Inglefield, Hamsham, Great Preston and Little Preston, you name it. I've even did a funeral at Brunsbury" Madoka listen in interest "Brunsbury?" she asked. "Oh yes, it's a few miles south of Tunbridge Wells, used to be in Kent until I was 7 years old, the same time they split Sussex up into East and West Sussex. Brunsbury has a very quaint little church for a town it's size, dedicated to St Peter, has a rather small squat tower with a spire, but it still manages to hold the Mears and Stainback Ring of 8 bells in F# with a tenor weighing 576kg and the clock and it's face! But still, I have been doing funerals in the area for 12 years, and at a lot of churches, like St Mary the Virgin, Cottington..." but then his Jane called. "Honey! Kevin Clarke is on the phone, waiting for you" she called. "Okay! This has to be about the funeral" said Mark and then he said to the girls "I have a phone call regarding the funeral, stay here, I will be back" and then Mark went into the house to speak to Kevin Clarke, the Church Warden of St Paul's Church in Leamsford.

* * *

St Paul's church was built in 1859 when the population of Leamsford was growing and there was too much people to fit into St Stephen's. It has a spire, the four clock faces are just below the spire, and above the louvres for the single bell in the belfry. The clock, made by Potts of Leeds in 1880 and a single bell cast by Gillett and Jonstone of Croydon is also situated in the belfry. You can hear the sound of the clock faintly ticking from outside, if it is quiet enough. The church also has a 2 manual organ built in 1884 by Brindley and Foster of Sheffield. The pipes are arranged in a simple rack in a semi circle, unlike at the decorated Organ case at St Stephen's, where there is 3 towers of Pipes that stick out, between 2 racks of pipes, one at the right side, one in the middle and one on the left, the middle tower is bigger than the other, okay, you get the idea. St Stephen's organ is a 3 manual 1902 Harrison and Harrison of Durham organ, built in this decorative case. Okay, aside that.

Unlike St Paul's, St Stephen's does not have a spire and the clock faces are below the louvres, like on a typical English Parish Church. There is also a ring of 10 bells in the key of D, tenor weight 25-2-0 or 1260kg, cast by John Taylor and Co in 1986 to replace an older ring of eight. Listen to the bells of Blackburn Cathedral, Abergavenny St Mary, Burton on Trent St Paul, or Worsley St Mark to get an idea of what the bells of St Stephen sound like. Aside that, for real this time.

* * *

Mark returned with some news. "We are going to have the funeral at St Paul's church on the 24th of April" he said "We would have it at St Stephen's church, but there is a wedding on the same day" "A wedding at the same time as a funeral?" said Sayaka. "Yes, it has happened at times" said Mark "St Stephen's church is the oldest church in Leamsford, with some parts dating back from as early as 1100. Though most of it dates from around 1300-1500. But then we'll be hearing Norman Frazer and his bells when we are trying to bury Mami!"

"Why?" asked Madoka "What does Norman have to do with it?"

"Norman is the tower captain of St Stephen's church" said Mark "That means him and the other bell ringers of St Stephen's will be ringing out the bells when we are trying to bury Mami!"

"What's bad about that, and what do they sound like?" asked Homura.

"Well, There is a ring of 10 bells in the Key of D, the tenor bell weighs about 25-2-0 or 1260kg, they were cast by John Taylor and Co in 1986 when the older ring of 8 was not going down well. My son Joshua told me that because he is learning to ring at St Stephen's. I take him over on a Tuesday night as that when they practise" explained Mark. "Though he's only been doing it since his 11th birthday and that was just 10 weeks ago, so he is slowly making progress!"

"Interesting hobby" said Kyoko "Joshua seems to have educated you in bells a bit hasn't he, and did he tell you about the bells at St Peter's in Brunsbury?" "Yes" replied Mark "Almost every Tower in Sussex from Chichester Cathedral to East Grinstead!" "But will Joshua be ringing for the wedding?" asked Madoka inquisitively. "He, no" replied Mark "He's got a long way to go!"

Madoka took another sip of tea. Mark presented some papers to Madoka. "Can you fill these in please" he said "Since you know her the best, every time someone dies, the person who knows the deceased person the best has to fill in their date of birth, cause of death, etc." Madoka looked at the papers. "So you want me to fill these in?" she asked. "Yes" said Mark "Would you please" and he handed Madoka a pen and she began to fill in the papers. "I would need to give this information to the people who make her tombstone, the Reverend Jim, etc." said Mark.

"Who is the Reverend Jim?" asked Sayaka.

"The vicar of St Paul's" replied Mark. He had another sip of his tea. "Was he the guy you were talking to on the phone?" asked Homura. "No" replied Mark "And that is not of your concern either" Madoka kept filling in the sheets while the others sat back.

* * *

Meanwhile, Reverend Jim was on the phone to Dave Roberts, the Organist of St Paul's. They were discussing what Hymns should be played at the funeral. "I'll do that one" said Dave over the phone and he wrote it down on a piece of paper. "So have you got them all sorted" asked Reverend Jim. "They're on my list" said Dave "I'll go and practise them, the funeral is not until the 24th, is it?" "It is not until the 24th" said Reverend Jim "So you have 6 days to practise". "Alright" replied Dave "I'll get on to it now" and he hung up. He went to find his hymn music sheets. The phone rang again, this time, it was his good friend, Stephen Lister, the organist of St Stephen's church.

"Hey, Dave mate" said Stephen "How are things going?"

"Alright" said Dave "I am just going to practise for a funeral on the 24th at St Paul's"

"Oh right" replied Stephen "Oh gosh, there is a wedding on at St Stephen's on the same day!" "Really?" replied Dave "Is there?" "Yes" replied Stephen "Peter Wright and Ellen Ellison's Wedding. Peter has asked me to play 'Love divine, all love excelling' to the tune 'Blaewern' that is one of his favourites. I totally see why!"

"Hehehehe!" replied Dave "It's a pretty cool tune alright, remember the time I played 'Alleluia Sing to Jesus' to the tune 'Blaewern' and 'Love divine, all love excelling' to the tune 'Hyfrydol'?" "Yeah, that were funny!" replied Stephen "Anyway, how is it going on the ideas for our own hymn?"

"I've thought of a title" said Dave "'Bless All the Saints', but I've not written much else as of yet, how is it going with the tune Stephen?" "I'm still working on it" said Stephen "It is in the key of A Major, and I've done the first bit, but I'd like to wait until you complete the lyrics before I write the tune down in the notation book" "Okay" replied Dave. Dave sat down at his piano, still on the phone.

"And also on the 24th" said Stephen "Leo wants you and the rest of the 76s to perform at 'The Lord Nelson' at 7:00pm, is your bass still in good order" "Yes, Leo has told me" said Dave "My Fender Jazz Bass is still in good working order, and this is the first time I've played with him in 2 years"

Dave during his high school years at Leamsford Grammar School, he played Bass Guitar in a band with Stephen's little brother, Leo, who is 9 years younger than Stephen, but 3 years younger than their sister, Laura who was 6 years younger than Stephen. The band was called The 76s, because they were all born in 1976! Duh! Leo played the keyboard and on lead vocals, Dave played Bass guitar, and was one of the two backing vocalists. The other two members were, Michael Kelly on guitar and the other backing vocalist and Paul Hill on the drums. But they didn't have the same instruments that they had back in 1991! They had more expensive gear now!

"Well" said Stephen "I have to go now, I got to pick up James from School." He had to pick his autistic 10 year son up from School. "Okay" said Dave "And talking of which, I need to pick up Nieve and Paul as well" He hung up. Before he went to collect his 2 children from School, he plugged his bass guitar into his amplifier. He played the bass line for two of the songs that he was going to play. "Good thing I still remember all these bass lines from the 1990s!" he laughed "But we've played on occasions" Then he want to pick up his children from School.

Stephen had picked up James from School. He went to a special needs school in Leamsford, because of his autism, it would be harder to be in mainstream schools. "Daddy" said James "Mr Wilson has given us a letter about the trip to Chichester" They were going on an RE trip to Chichester cathedral. "Good" said Stephen. "But Daddy" said James "Will you be able to do this?" "What is it James?" replied Stephen. "Mr Wilson wants you to come with us to play the organ when we do some singing. Will it be alright?" "No problem with that" replied Stephen "I'll phone Mr Wilson and tell him that I'm fine with it, what exactly does he want me to play?" "I don't know" replied James "Ask him" "I will" replied Stephen "Remember the recital I did at Chichester Cathedral?" James remembered it, as he let him have a little tinkle on the Chichester Cathedral organ in front of the audience. "Yes!" said James "Oh, the audience!" James however is beginning to have piano lessons to follow his father's footsteps, even though he likes playing football a lot.

* * *

Meanwhile, Mark had returned from picking up Joshua from School. "I'm back" said Mark to the girls. "Okay!" said Madoka, who along with the others had been sitting next to Mami's coffin. Joshua on the other hand rushed inside to go on his Xbox. "Is that your son?" asked Homura. "Yes!" replied Mark "And he is straight on is Xbox! Think he is playing Gran Turismo 5 that we got him for his birthday. But he does get changed while his Xbox warms up" "Could he at least say hello to us?" asked Sayaka. "Uh, he is not really interested" replied Mark "He's more bothered about his video games, and he is gonna race his little brother George. See who is gonna win!" "Ah, well" said Kyoko "George could always pull up and say hi" "Uh no..he is more interested in racing his older brother" replied Mark.

Madoka laughed. Then they turned a bit more serious. "Well" said Mark "I hope you are ready for your friend's funeral, but there is one job I want you to do" "What would that be?" said Homura. Mark opened his wallet and gave them a £10 note. "I want you to go to Wendy's Florists and buy some flowers for your friend" explained Mark "But Wendy gives me a discount when I use her flowers for funerals, so if you tell her that I sent you, she'll give you the discount"

"Okay!" replied Madoka and got up. "Lets go guys, where is her shop?"

"It's near the Railway Station Carpark" said Mark "You'll see Wendy's Florists sign when you get there"

"Okay" said the girls and they set off.

They walked across the street and they soon found Wendy's Florists near the railway station carpark. On the way they passed a church with a spire near to the Train Station. "So that must be St Paul's church" said Madoka. Sayaka wanted to stop and watch the Class 171 leave the station on it's way to London Bridge. "Come on Sayaka" said Homura "No time for trainspotting" "Okay" said Sayaka and the walked on as the train left the station.

They entered Wendy's shop while Wendy was cleaning the counter. "Hello" she said as the girls entered her shop. "What could I do for you" Madoka went forward to Wendy. On the Radio, the song 'Seven Days in the Sun' by Feeder was playing, it just started when Madoka went forward to Wendy. Madoka spoke to Wendy.

"Hi, we are looking for flowers for a friend of our that funeral is next week" said Madoka "Mark Jackson sent us" Wendy looked at Madoka "Well" she said "I have got quite a lot of flowers, and I see he's sent you with £10" "Yes" replied Madoka "He said that you would give us a discount because he sent us"

"Hmm" said Wendy "I see...considering he has sent you, I don't see why not, look for what flowers you like, you can make your own custom Bouquets with them. The normally cost £40 but since Mark sent you, I'll charge you £10, and I'll throw in another bouquet free" She was very generous.

"Well, our poor friend had her head eaten by a monster" said Sayaka. "WHAT?!" exclaimed Wendy "That must be a horrid way to die! In that case you are defiantly having a second bouquet for free, I am a very generous person you know, and I don't want this to be my final act of kindness. Have a look around and I'll get the stuff ready" and Wendy did that.

"I've owned this shop since 1979" she said "And in the 56 years of my existence on this planet, I've never heard such an extraordinary way to die. I've heard of people getting attacked by sharks, but monsters" On the radio, the song carried on to the chorus. "I think I heard this one before" said Sayaka "I can't quite recall where, was it that time when I was at that holiday club and them boys were playing Gran Turismo 3?" She carried on looking at the Lilies to put in the bouquet. Homura looked at the Roses, Madoka had her eyes on some Irises and Kyoko was into some Begonias and some Sweet Peas. "Every Rose has it's thorn" muttered Homura, referring to their grief and distress of Mami's passing.

"What do you girls do for an occupation?" asked Wendy. "Well, we hunt Witches" said Madoka. "And we were in a fight with one when Mami was killed" "That goes to show that we are screwed" said Homura "I doubt we should fight any more witches" "Stow it!" snapped Madoka and she called Wendy over to get the flowers they chose for the Bouquet.

"You made your choice?" she said "Alright, I'll sort them out for you, just hang on a minute" The girls watch as she made the two bouquets with the flowers that they picked. She was done in no time. "That would be £10 please" she said as she went to the till. Madoka went forward to the till and gave Wendy the £10 note. "Thank you" said Wendy as Madoka and Sayaka took a Bouquet each. "Thanks a lot" said Madoka as she walked out the door. "You were a good help" "No problem" replied Wendy and she went to wipe her glasses.

They walked back to Mark's place with the flowers. "Hey Mark!" said Madoka "We've got the flowers, Wendy has been very helpful"

"Good!" replied Mark "Did she give you the discount?"

"Yes" replied Madoka "It costed £10, and she threw in an extra bouquet for free!"

"Nice" replied Mark "She is a very kind lady, now I'll get a couple of vases to put the flowers in" and he headed off to get the vases then came back. "I filled them with water as well" he said "Now lets put the flowers in the vases" They did that, and the flower were in the vases next to Mami's coffin in no time. "I am still weary about opening the coffin" said Mark "But I'll see you guys again on the 24th."

"Right!" replied Madoka "We'll see you then" and they left Mark's place. Mark went back inside and locked the Chapel. He would come back to do the flower arrangements for the coffin, but there was some more things to do before the funeral. But it would be Dinner in over 1 hour's time. He went back inside.

_Authors Notes:_

_I am Autistic Myself, and I went to a special needs school, no..not the same one as James! Haha..not._

_I'm also a bell ringer myself, but I still have problems with bell control. _

_Jeez...why do I explain things in such detail...?_

_The Song 'Seven Days in The Sun' by Feeder, I heard it when I used to play Gran Turismo 3 when I was 7 years old, It was my favourite of the whole GT3 soundtrack. I've been listening to the song while doing this, and figuring out how to play the song on my guitar as well. Buck Rogers is okay but this is better._

_Wendy quotes Whitaker from L4D2 when she says "I've owned this shop since 1979, been on this planet 56 years" This part of the story is set in 2012 though._


	4. Preparation

The day arrived, 24th April 2012. The days that Mami's funeral was taking place. As The Church clocks struck 7, though St Stephen's did the Westminster Quarters as well, like it always does, the town of Leamsford awoke. People were catching the train to commute to work, while the kids were getting ready to go to school. But the two parish churches in the town had different venues, St Stephen's had a wedding on and St Paul's had the funeral of Mami Tomoe on. Madoka and the crew arrived at Leamsford on the train, they came in shortly after 8am, which it was packed with commuters and ready to be filled with more. Madoka stepped off the train and the others followed. "Well this is it" she sighed "At 11:00am, will be the funeral"

Sayaka looked glum. "This is not going to go down well" she said "I know..." As they walked off the platform and on to the street, Madoka looked around. "Where was Mark's place again?" she asked. "I remember" said Kyoko "Follow me" and she lead them to Mark's place.

"Ah hello everyone" said Mark "I'll see to you later, I need to take Joshua and George to School, then I'll come back and see to you" He went and unlocked the Chapel of Rest where Mami's coffin lay. "You guys wait here" he said. "I'll not be long" "But can we have some tea to drink?" asked Madoka. "Alright" said Mark and went to boil the kettle. He hurried his two sons up to get ready for School.

Madoka and the others walked into the Chapel. They saw that Mami's coffin had been decorated with the flowers they bought from Wendy 6 days earlier. "Well Mark did a good job of the coffin" said Sayaka. "But we want to see Mami's body for one last time before she is buried" said Homura. "I hope he can open the coffin for us" said Kyoko. Just then, Kyubey wandered into the Chapel of rest. "Oh" he said "Is this Mami's coffin" "Yes" replied Madoka. Then Mark arrived with their tea and Kyubey hid under a chair. "Here you go" he said.

"Erm Mark, can you unlock the coffin for us, because we wanna see Mami for one last time" said Madoka. "Okay" said Mark "I'll open the coffin and keep it open until I come back" and he opened the coffin and Mami's headless body was revealed. "I'll close it again when I come back, and then we'll load it onto the hearse, now I need to take Joshua and George to School. Stay here" and he went to do just that.

Madoka had a sip of her tea and then she had a look at Mami's corpse. "Shit" she said "That was all fucking insane" and Kyubey went and looked at Mami's corpse. "Bullshit" he said quietly "This could not happen" He stared at Mami in disbelief. Homura had another look at the corpse and had another sip of tea. "I know Mark has to have be strong to do a job like this" he said "But he nearly cried when he was talking about the children" "Of course" replied Sayaka "A Child's death is more tragic" Sayaka hummed to herself the tune of 'Seven Days in the Sun' by Feeder, that she heard in Wendy's flower shop. "What is that song called?" she pondered "I might be able to find it out by looking up the Gran Turmismo 3 soundtrack" She had another sip of tea. "This does not seem as bland this time for some reason" she said to herself "Did Mark use another type of tea?" She had a look at Mami's corpse. "I'm gonna miss you Mami" she said quietly.

Kyoko said exactly the same. "This seems to a big loss" she said "No wonder Homura considered quitting" "But at the time, we were done goofed" said Homura "I would of risked my life to save Mami, but I was not there...and this seems a big blow to me" Homura sighed..."fuck..." she muttered and had another sip of her tea before cussing under her breath again. Madoka was devistated. "I am starting to think maybe we should all abandon trying to hunt witches" she said "Homura is right, we have had our arses handed to us." There was mixed reactions.

"Indeed" said Homura "Witches, fucking useless, what fucking good are they for killing our friend? I say we do not fight any more witches, not unless we have to"

"We can't quit" protested Sayaka "If we don't fight them, they'll be more to kick our arses, and we don't want that. I'm in favour of continuing the campaign"

"I agree with Sayaka" said Kyoko "We must carry on the fight regardless"

The two sides exchanged some sighs.

Later, Mark returned. "Okay girls" he said "We need to close the coffin and load it onto the Hearse, I hope you've bid farewell to your friend" Madoka got up "Yes we have, we are ready for it all" Mark went forward and locked the coffin and put the flower arrangements on. "Okay" he said "1...2...3...LIFT!" and they lifted the coffin to the hearse that Kyoko had the job of opening the door. The coffin was in the hearse in no time. "Right" said Mark. "It's 9:00 so it's 2 hours until the funeral, so I'd say you smarten yourselves up while I put my suit on" And he went to get his funeral suit. "I think what he means is make ourselves look a bit tidier" Said Madoka and went inside into the bathroom. In no time they were ready for the funeral. It was cloudy, but it would brighten up later, at the time the wedding would happen.

* * *

Meanwhile at St Stephen's church, Norman Frazer, the tower captain was getting ready for the wedding bells to be rung. First, he went into the clock room that was above the ringing room to watch his beloved Potts of Leeds clock strike 9 o'clock. "Okay, any moment now" he said to himself, and then the electric whir of the chiming mechanisms kicked in. Norman sang cheerfully to the Westminster Chimes sequence. He sang the number of the bell being struck at the right moment.

"#5 3 4 9, 5 4 3 5, 3 5 4 9, 9 4 3 5#" Then 5 seconds later, the hour bell. "10" said Norman 9 times, as the Tenor bell struck the hour. "Well now" he said "I need to go and pull the clock hammers back" and he want down into the ringing room. Then the clock's electric winder kicked in and began to wind the clock up. "Here goes the winder" said Norman.

Norman waited until the clock was fully wound and then he pulled back the clock hammers. "Now" he said "Lets raise the bells" and he lowered down the bell ropes. Then he took every rope off their holder and raised it back up. Then he first raised the treble bell. He first checked it was down and then took in coils on the rope, and the began to raise the bell. He began swinging it upwards until it was up. "That's that one done" said Norman and then he raised the second bell. Then the third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, and finally, the 1260kg Tenor Bell. "HEAVE HO!" said Norman as he began to raise the Tenor Bell. Norman get he bell up. "Phew" he said.

He then locked the door and and went back out for another 2 and a half hours. They started the ringing a 11.30, 1 hour before the wedding started.

* * *

Inside of St Stephen's, Stephen was practising Mendelssohn's Wedding March on the 3 console Harrison and Harrison organ, his son James was next to him as there was no School for him, as there was a burst water pipe and it caused a big flood. He watched his Daddy play the Wedding March. "Daddy" said James "I heard the bells" Stephen turned to James "I heard them as well" he said "I did as well, Norman is getting them ready" and then Norman walked down the nave. "Hello Stephen" he said and adjusted his glasses. "Oh Hello James, why are you here with your Dad?"

"School is closed" replied James "There is a flood because of a burst water pipe, I did want to play football with Paul and Nathan but Daddy told me come with him"

"Hehehehe" replied Stephen "He has helped the ladies set up the flowers, and as a reward, he'll get to play the organ a bit, but first he has to help a bit more!"

Norman knew Stephen and James as he was a family friend of Heidi Lister, James' father and Stephen's wife. "Well James" said Norman "I'll be telling your Mum you have been helpful, now go and help Beatrice and Gwen with the flowers and let your Dad practice his song!"

Stephen went back to practicing the Wedding March while James went over to help Beatrice and Gwen that gave him a job to tie the ribbons. "No worries!" said James eagerly, and he tied each and every one of them. Beatrice and Gwen were impressed "Well done James" they said.

* * *

Meanwhile at St Paul's however, the ladies there were preparing the flower for Mami's funeral that would happen in less than 2 hours time. Mildred Anderson and Helen Walsden were at work tying the ribbons to the pillars with the flowers. "Helen, pass me some more ribbon please" said Mildred. Helen cut some more ribbon and passed it to Mildred. "Thank Helen" said Mildred and then tied some more flowers to the pillars. She then completed the job. "Thanks" she said to Helen "You were a great help as you always were"

"No problem Mildred" replied Helen "This looks perfect" and the two ladies looked at the flower arrangements. Then Therese Hollywell arrived. She had come back from visiting her grandchildren over the weekend, Lily and Liam. "Hi" said Therese "I'm back, I've had a lot of Grandma moments! Them two never cease to amaze me!" Mildred and Helen laughed "What a crafty bunch you have Therese!" Therese walked forward to see the flower arrangements for the funeral. "Very good job" she said. She had a look at her watch.

"It's 9:30 now, so I'd say we just wait" she said, but then Dave walked in. "Morning Dave!" said the ladies. "Hello ladies" said Dave "Nice flower arrangements, as always" "Heheheh Thanks Dave" replied Mildred "Wendy is always helpful, along with some from our own back gardens!" Dave laughed. "You sure know how to do good flower arrangements, and how was your weekend with your grandchildren Therese?"

"They were a crafty bunch!" laughed Therese "A lot of Grandma moments! But it was funny!" Everyone laughed. "Well" said Dave as he headed to the 2 manual Brindley and Foster Organ "Just one more rehearsal and we are perfect" and he fired the Organ up.

* * *

Meanwhile back at Mark's place, Madoka and the girls were waiting with Mark to proceed to St Paul's. Sayaka was quietly singing the song she heard in Wendy's shop some days earlier, but she did not remember all the lines.

"#I got a friend, her name is Laura, we took a holiday, seven sweet days to Majorca. We took a plane...#" No one noticed her singing.

Mark did look good in his suit. But this was no fashion show matter, this was a funeral, so he had to wear black. He straightened his tie and checked his watch. And then eventually he said. "We need to get going now"

"Alright" said Madoka "How are we gonna get to the church?"

"Well" said Mark "That black car there is going to take you there, but Madoka, you will have to come with me in the hearse" They got in and then they headed off to the Church. But ironically, they passed the wedding vehicle for Peter and Ellen!

_Author's Notes:_

_When Norman was singing to the Westminster Chimes of the clock, he was saying the bell number that was being struck, I.e 5 was the 5th bell and 10 was the Tenor bell, you get the idea, if you were a ringer like, you would know more._

_Also the clock at St Stephen's has an electric wind device, and electric chiming but it is still pendulum powered. Hehehehe._

_Next bit will be the actual funeral._


	5. The Funeral and a Prophecy

The hearse was nearing St Paul's church as the congregation was gathering for the funeral service. Some of them did not even know who Mami was but they had heard about how she died. They were most stunned by it all. But they joined the service as a mark of respect for the deceased, more like thou who'st doth head wasth choppethed off. But the church was ready as Mami's coffin arrived. People loitered around as Mami's coffin was taken into church and laid down.

Madoka and the others took a pew at the front and waited for the funeral service to start. "I am so unfamiliar with this" moaned Sayaka "Let alone being in a Church" "Shush" said Madoka "We need to be quit in a mark of respect for Mami, everybody else is being quiet!" Sayaka slipped into silence and waited for the service to start. Soon, the clock struck 11 o'clock and the Reverend Jim stepped forward and faced the congregation.

"Well Good Morning everybody" he said "Today, at the funeral, we are celebrating the life of the late Mami Tomoe. She died of a rather extraordinary death, which I have never heard of. Being eaten by a monster is not a funeral I have led before. Oh well" The congregation looked blank. They could not believe it either. Madoka, Sayaka, Kyoko, Homura and Kyubey knew only too well what had happened. "I really am considering quitting this shit" muttered Homura under her breath.

"Well" said Jim "We need to praise God for her life and grant her eternal rest in heaven, we shall sing our first hymn, take it away Dave" Dave started playing the organ to the said hymn. Madoka and the others stood up but they did not sing, they did not know the words to any hymn tunes. Everyone else in the congregation began to sing. Homura just stared blankly into space. Sayaka was still feeling sulky. "Is that what a church organ sounds like" she muttered. Sayaka's heart was blue, she did not understand.

After the hymn was over and Reverend Jim was doing a funeral sermon, a member of the congregation spoke quietly. He was John Woodcock, the clock keeper at St Paul's. He was due to wind the clock after this. Unlike at St Stephen's, you still need to wind the clock manually. John said quietly. "I am no philosopher, but I have a prophecy." Reverend Jim heard it. He stopped. "What was that John?" he asked.

John spoke again "I seem to have a prophecy" Jim looked stunned "What prophecy" he asked. "I am no philosopher" replied John "But I predict that this person will come back to life after 140,400 strikes of the clock. 140,400 strikes of the clock over 21,600 hours and she will be back" Jim was baffled "If you say so...John...I doubt...it" The congregation gasped in awe but Madoka was not so convinced. "He'd better be right" "How long is 21,600 hours" asked Homura. "That would be something like 900 days" replied Kyubey. "The clock strikes 156 times a day so multiply that by 900 and you get 140,400." "I doubt it" replied Sayaka sulkily "This bloke doesn't know"

Reverend Jim continued the service, while the other girls were debating if what John is saying might be true or not. Madoka presently told them to be quiet. The funeral service carried on.

* * *

Meanwhile at St Stephen's church, Stephen had finished practicing Mendelssohn's Wedding March on the organ. "Perfect!" he said proudly. The 1902 3 Manual Harrison and Harrison organ had proved itself during Stephen's rehearsal. He would open the trumpet stops on the top manual and have the other stops open for the loud blasting roar of the fanfare, and the stops for the bass pedals. He let James have a little tinkle before making sure no one touched the organ with all the stops for the Wedding March open.

"Uh uh!" he said "I need them stops for the Wedding March! Don't touch it!"

The Reverend Melanie came back from the vestry. "Good job Stephen, you're on top as always" she said "Thanks Mel" replied Stephen "James had a bit of fun as well" and he laughed. "Well, Norman and the others should be ready to ring" said Melanie "I'll go and see to him now" and she climbed up the spiral staircase up to the ringing room.

Norman and the bell ringers were getting ready to ring for the wedding. Norman was getting excited, as he always does when he rings for weddings. "Oh ho ho ho!" he chuckled "Isn't this going to be good?" Another Bell Ringer pointed out "Hey, you hear that?" It was the sound of Melanie coming up the stairs. "Well" she said "Are we ready to rock and roll? It's Half Past 11" the sound of the electric clock whirring proved it.

"Well yes" replied Norman "We'll ring a Quarter Peal! 1250 Yorkshire Surprise Royal! That is what I have planned" Melanie smiled "Well, 1 hour to go" she said "I'll let you get on with it" and she went down stairs. "Well" said Norman "Lets do some warm up rounds to begin with before we rock and roll!" The bell ringers all got themselves a Bell. Norman picked the treble bell. He got ready. "Look two, Treble's going, she's gone!" he said as he pulled off. The other ringers followed and the majestic Taylor 10 began to sound out.

They rang a few rounds. "Stand next time" said Norman and then he set his bell and the other ringers followed suit. "That was good" said Norman "Now...for the Quarter Peal attempt!" The other ringers got ready and waited for the signal. "Look two" said Norman "Treble's going, she's gone!" and the bells began to ring out again. After a few rounds, Norman called out "Go! Yorkshire Royal!" and they starting ringing the method, thus beginning the Quarter Peal.

* * *

Meanwhile However at St Paul's, the diggers had just finished digging Mami's grave, as Mami's coffin was carried out into the churchyard. Madoka and the other girls went out as well. "Oh no" grunted Sayaka "The bells of the other church are ringing!" "There's a wedding on there, remember" said Madoka. "Ah right" said Sayaka hastily "I forgot then" She shook her head quickly and then focused on the burial.

"There goes Norman and his bell ringers" said Kevin "Well, it is a wedding day" The congregation got out. "Someone stop those bells" said some members of the congregation "No" said Kevin "There is a wedding on at St Stephen's" The members of the congregation who objected to the bells quickly retracted their words. Mark veered forward and opened the coffin.

"Well" sniffed Sayaka "Goodbye Mami, will we have a friend like you ever again" Madoka also began to sniff. So did Kyoko. But Homura tried to contain her tears "It just goes to show how fucked we are anyway, and we should never try to fight witches again" she said. She sniffed and tried to contain it...Kyubey was just weeping hard as Mami's body was lowered into the grave. "Someone pass me some tissues" said Madoka as she began to cry very hard. "I know how you feel" whimpered Sayaka "But I have not got any" Madoka, Sayaka and Kyoko openly poured out their grief, but Homura tried to contain it. "Never again" she said "I don't want this to happen to us again" It was truly heartbreaking.

"Good lord!" exclaimed Kevin "What happened to her head" Mark swung firmly to Kevin "Don't ask them about it!" he said firmly "It was a horrible experience they had and they do not wish to share it with anyone" Kevin looked stunned. "Reverend Jim said her head was eaten by a monster" he said in surprise "Stow it!" snapped Mark "Or I won't be using the place again" Mark calmed down "Sorry Kevin" he said "Sorry I got angry, but they don't want to talk about it" "Alright then" replied Kevin.

The tombstone was placed into the ground and the grave diggers covered the grave with the earth. Then they planted some grass seeds over the grave, the they left. It was all to quick. And Madoka, Sayaka, Kyoko and Homura coming to terms with their sheer grief was going to be a challenge in itself. John the clock keeper went up to wind the clock. "I just hope my prophecy is right" he said as he got the handle to wind the clock with. "It better be 140,400 strikes of this clock and she comes back to life" Then he wound the clock up. "But I am absolutely certain that my prophecy is right" he said cheerfully. He then listened to the wedding bells ringing out from St Stephen's.

Back on the ground, the congregation was going back home after the funeral when the clock Struck 12. This first 12 strikes of the bell sounded, another 140,388 were needed until Mami would come back to life. Sayaka sighed. "If that crazy bloke says Mami will come back to life ater 140,400 strikes of the clock, looks like there's 140,388 to go. I doubt he is going to be right" Madoka moaned "I just hope he is" "How long is 140,400 strikes of the clock" asked Sayaka. Madoka stopped to think and work out that puzzle. "Ermm right" said Madoka "There is 24 hours in a day, and the clock strikes 156 times a day, multiply that by 9 and you get, 1404, and multiply that by 100, and you get 140,400, so it would be 900 days"

Kyoko, Homura and Sayaka stared at Madoka. "If anyone wants to come back here in 900 days time, then you're more than welcome to" replied Sayaka "But you probably won't notice Jack Shit happen" The other girls sighed. "Well" said Homura "I doubt we'll remember by then" Madoka decided it was time to get going. "Lets go, to the train station" she said "It time we left here" Sayaka began to feel hungry "Could we have lunch first?" she asked. "We'll do that when we get to London Bridge Station" replied Madoka "Because there is quite a good Sushi restaurant there" They all got off and headed for the train station. Mark watched them go. "Goodbye then" he said quietly "Good luck, if you decide to carry on witch hunting"

* * *

Later, however at St Stephen's church, Peter and Ellen entered in in true Bride and Groom style, as their family and friend waited eagerly for the wedding service to start. Stephen saw them arrive. "Ok here we go!" he said "James! Man the music sheets" "Okay" replied James and rushed over by his Daddy. Stephen sat down at the organ console and hit the first trumpet notes of Mendelssohn's Wedding March. James stood ready to turn over the pages in the music sheets. Stephen went into the fanfare bit of the Wedding March and the organ roared as he pressed the keys.

The Wedding was about to begin. In the ringing room, the quarter peal was complete. "That's all" said Norman and the ringers went back to ringing rounds. They rang a few more rounds and then Norman said "Stand next time" and they stopped the bells. "Well done everybody" said Norman as he tied the bell rope up. "Looks like the wedding is going to begin" Norman turned on his laptop, and wired up the camera that looked down onto the nave, so they could watch the wedding from the ringing room. And through the window, they even had a view onto the ruins of Leamsford Castle.

1 hour later, the big moment came. Reverend Melanie delivered the words that Peter and Ellen had been waiting for a long time. "I declare you Husband and Wife" she said "You may kiss the bride" Peter and Ellen kissed at will. Stephen did a binocular like formation with his fingers at the newly married couple. "Ooohohohohohooh" he chuckled looking through his 'binoculars'. "Daddy? What are you doing?" asked a puzzled James. Stephen turned around "Oh yeah oh yeah" he laughed "Well here we go!" The crowd began to cheer as Stephen began to play Mendelssohn's Wedding March again on the organ.

In the ringing room, it was the cue for the bell ringers to ring the bells again. "Well, lets rock and roll!" said Norman as he got everyone around the bells, and himself on the treble bell again.

"Look two!" he said "Treble's going! She's gone!" Then the wedding bells began to sound out again. Peter and Ellen, newly married exited the church and got into their car for the reception at Leamsford Castle. The weather had brightened up, and it was the perfect afternoon for it.


	6. The Return of Mami

Mami lay in her grave for the next 900 days, and in the process, her head was growing back. John had prophesied that Mami's head would grow over in 5 stages, each lasting 23,400 strikes of the clock, or 150 days each. Her head grew back in 750 days, and she lay for the next 150 days. Then on 11th October 2014, it was they day she was due to come back to life.

Me *Vintage Sniper* and my friend Strange Heavy, we call ourselves by our TF2 persona names. We were returning from a week in Devon, and heading all the way back to North Yorkshire. But unfortunately, we had got lost. I was trying to find a way to the A1(M), but we had gotten lost and the car broke down in Leamsford, just near to St Paul's church and the Railway Station.

I got out of the car. "Bollocks" I grumbled "The batteries must of gone flat or summat'" We still had plenty of fuel to take us on another 300 miles. We filled up before we left Devon. Strange Heavy got out of the car. We did not know where we were. We were totally lost.

"We must of taken the wrong turn at Andover" said Strange Heavy. "Now where are we?"

"I don't know" I replied "We are no where near Skipton, let alone Leeds or Bradford! I wish we took the train instead!" We looked around on signs to try and tell us where we were. The sign for Ryre District Council popped up. "Ryre District Council?" pondered Strange Heavy "Vintage Sniper, do you know where this area is?" I looked at the sign. "This tells us where are somewhere in East Sussex"

We looked along the horizon. "I can see a castle" said Strange Heavy "Does this give you any idea" "No siree Bob" I replied "I'm sure I've seen that church tower before on the internet, but I cannot remember what one it is" Then we spotted St Paul's church. "Go look at the sign at the Church" said Strange Heavy "That will give us an indication where we are" I went for it.

I went over to the church sign, as Strange Heavy was getting ready to phone up the AA breakdown service. I read the Sign. "Leamsford" I said. I then went to get the roadmap to locate where Leamsford was. I found it, it was listed down as a Primary Destination so it was all in Yellow and Green lettering to stand out from the other settlements. I saw the symbol for the castle on the map. "Well" I said "I think we are in Leamsford, East Sussex" and then I headed off for the church after putting the map back in the car. Something had caught my eye. Strange Heavy followed me.

I went up to Mami's grave. It was inscripted on the tombstone.

_'Mami Tomoe_

_1997-2012_

_A good friend and fighter on the Witch Campaigns._

_Had her head bitten off by Charlotte's monster_

_Will be sorely missed by Madoka and Friends._

_RIP Mami'_

"Hey!" I said to Strange Heavy "Look at this here!" Strange Heavy came over. "Do you know who this 'Tomoe' person is? I think I've heard of her" I said. "Oh...Mami?!" said Strange Heavy who was totally shocked by the fact she was dead. "This cannot be possible" "I heard she was eaten by a monster" I replied coldly "And why they bury her here?" "I don't know" replied Strange Heavy stunned "I did not even know she was dead!"

"But she is dead!" I replied, but then I faintly heard the clock mechanism in the tower begin to whir and the final 12 strikes of the clocks sounded out before Mami's heart started beating in the first time in over 900 days. In the distance, St Stephen's sounded the Westminster Chimes then struck 12 o'clock.

"There Is no way she can be dead!" protested Strange Heavy after the clock stopped striking"She is not dead"

"Look!" I said "Are you stupid, she is dead!" The Strange Heavy noticed the ground starting to move. "

What is going on here?!" he said "That proves she is alive, not dead!"

"You're wrong!" I Protested "She is Dead! Delta, Echo, Alpha, Delta!"

Then Mami emerged from the grave. "I'm back bitches!" she said proudly.

"ARRRRRRGH! HOLY FUCK!" I screamed at the sight of it "I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!" Mami stared at me. "Me? Dead?!" she scoffed "Oh no way José! I am back from the dead! And where am I anyway?" "See" said Strange Heavy "That proves you wrong!" He turned to Mami and said "You're in the town of Leamsford, in East Sussex, in Southern England!" Mami smiled, even though she was totally unfamiliar with her new surroundings, and the fact I was freaking out.

"HOLY FUCK!" I screamed and I banged the church doors to see if I could get in, but the church was locked. Mami was baffled. "What is this guy doing freaking out over my resurrection? And who is he?" she asked Strange Heavy who was slightly stunned but not having the living crap scared out of him. "Urm well" said Strange Heavy "He's my friend, Vintage Sniper" and he explained about their predicament getting lost on the way back to Yorkshire.

"We need to calm him down then" said Mami "He seems as freaked out as hell"

"Though it's not every day you see someone emerge from the dead" replied Strange Heavy.

"Well" said Mami "What do you say...lets go" Then she tried to approach me.

"Come on Vintage Sniper" she said "I am not a monster" But I ran away to the back of the church. "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" I screamed. Mami sighed. "Well, he scared shitless"

She went to the pile of earth to get her rifle that was covered in mud, like her shirt. "Well" said Strange Heavy "We need to clean the mud off you, we need to find a way into the church, so we can clean you up" Mami agreed "But the doors are locked by the looks of it" They wondered around looking for a way in.

Mami spotted a key in front of the Vestry door. "Here" she said and she picked the keys up. They were the Dave's keys for the organ. Mami looked at the tag "Organ keys" she said. "We can try it on the door" "Good Idea" replied Stange Heavy and Mami managed to unlock the door.

"I wonder how the Organist left them there" pondered Strange Heavy as he entered the church.

They soon found the kitchen. "Over there!" said Strange Heavy "This place ought to do the trick" They both headed over there, but then, Strange Heavy spotted a plate of Cheese on the table top.

"Cheese?" he wondered "And what is it doing here?" The cheese was covered with cling film, but this would come in useful for a fight. The Cheese was to be used for Sandwiches for the Sunday School's day out on Monday. But now was not the time for it.

Strange Heavy looked for cleaning products in the cupboard under the sink. "Perfect" he said as he got it out from the cupboard. "Alright" replied Mami "I am ready for a cleanup"

* * *

Meanwhile, I had noticed that the church vestry door was open. This seemed interesting. I got up and went inside. "Hmmm" I said "Why did I not try this door" I went inside to look around the church completely unaware that Strange Heavy and Mami was in the kitchen. There I was wandering around the lovely Victorian Church when... "Hey!" said Mami "Is that your friend there?" I then noticed Mami and Strange Heavy. "OH NO!" I screamed and I ran out like a headless chicken. "Fuck it, I'm outta here!" I cried and made my way to the Train Station.

I got to the Train Station just as the guard was getting ready to close the door to let the train depart. The Driver noticed me rushing on. "Whoa, steady there!" he said "What is up" I said nothing and I sat down, out of breath. The Driver looked at Sid Brampton, the Conductor. "Am I good to go Sid?" he asked. "Right away Daniel Robinson!" replied the Conductor and he shut the doors and pressed the buzzer telling The Driver to go. He then pulled the lever and the Class 171 left the station for London Bridge. "This train is for London Bridge" said the automated female voice from the speakers "This service will be calling at, Daisyfield, Cottington, Inglefield, Carleton, Sledbridge, Dalsmere, Botley, Brunsbury, Tunbridge Wells..." and carried on until London Bridge. "The next station is Daisyfield"

Meanwhile, Strange Heavy had finished cleaning up Mami. "Now" she said "We need to go and find your friend" Strange Heavy nodded. They exited the church but they found that I was not there! "Oh no!" said Strange Heavy "Where has Vintage Sniper gone!" They both exchanged shrugs before they stared at the Station. "I think he's got on the train" said Mami. "We need to look at the CCTV Footage" said Strange Heavy, which they managed to get hold of.

"Holy fuck!" exclaimed Mami "He's jumped onto the train like a jack rabbit!" This was a cue for them to chase me down! "We need some Jetpacks!" said Strange Heavy "He might of got kicked off the train for not having a ticket!" Mami and Strange Heavy got themselves a jetpack each and they flew off in action.

* * *

As the train left Cottington station, Sid the Conductor entered the carriage I was in.

"Tickets Please" he said "Anyone who does not have tickets will be kicked off the train" I heard his words. "Oh crap" I said. "I hope I did not hear what I thought I did" said Sid as he went checking passengers' tickets. Then he came to me. I looked sheepish. "Your ticket please" he said firmly. "I have not got a ticket" I replied "I have no money on me. I am on the run from some crazy bitch who came out of the grave at Leamsford, can you give me a ticket anyway" Sid scowled at me and grabbed me. "No can do" he said as he dragged me to the door "Don't try hitching a ride on my train without a ticket you cheapish idiot!" Then opened one door and he pushed me off the train on to the trackside.

"Bastard ticket man!" I grumbled as I looked dazed by the trackside. The train sped off into the distance. I lay dazed and confused by the trackside, but I could not help noticing a blemish in the sky line. "There is two flying people" I said "What are they doing?"

It was Strange Heavy and Mami. "Here he is" said Mami "He looks like he's been kicked off the train!" They could see the train trundling off into the distance. "You are right Mami" said Strange Heavy "The train is trundling off into the distance, so he may not be able to run" Mami needed ideas to approach me. "Do you have any ideas of how to approach him so he does not get scared?" she asked Strange Heavy.

Strange Heavy had an idea. "Well, If you've watched K-ON!, then you'll know the Yui to Azusa treatment!"

"What? I Have no Idea" replied Mami.

Strange Heavy explained it.

"Basically, you gotta hug him from behind...etc."

"Hehehe" said Mami "That sounds like a plan, lets go" and the flew down to where I was.

I was still dazed and confused, but the blood was soon flowing back to my brain. "I will sue Southern Trains for..." but before I could continue, Strange Heavy appeared in front of me and I felt something from behind. "Hey" said Strange Heavy "Are you okay" "No" I replied "Bastard conductor kicked me off! I feel bruised and bemused, and what the hell is that behind me?" "Well" said Strange Heavy "Look behind you" I slowly swung my head too see it was Mami hugging me from behind me. "Whoa!" I said.

"There there there..." said Mami affectionately "It's ok, I am not a monster..."

"Uhhh..." I said in bemusement "What is going on?" But I was too stunned to flee.

"Well" said Strange Heavy "Remember the Yui X Azusa treatment, when you watched K-ON!? This is exactly that"

"Well" I replied "Mami seems less scary now, but I am unsure I want to hug her back" Mami kept hugging me passionately. "I have some good news" she said "Southern Trains are gonna fire that conductor that kicked you off" "Thank god!" I replied "He was a bastard!" Then they heard another train coming. "Well" said Strange Heavy "We need to get a move on! Away from the train tracks" and they did just that and found themselves some space at Cottington Village Hall.

I sat down as Mami hugged me from behind again. "So cute" she cheeped at me. I went all red. It seemed all insane, someone who had her her head eaten came back 2 years later and is now flirting me? I already have a waifu...but oh well, guess we could have a ménage à trois. "Well" said Strange Heavy "Mami seems to have a crush on you" "She does" I replied...I finally made my move and hugged Mami back. "Sooo...cute" giggled Mami as I hugged back "Even If he was scared of me when I cam out of the grave" Strange Heavy smiled. Then we let go. "I'd say" I said "We stay in Cottington and return to Leamsford tomorrow morning" As the next day was a Sunday.

Mami and Strange Heavy agreed. I headed off for St Mary's Church, as Strange Heavy and Mami discussed the plans in private.

_Author's notes_

_This storyline came around when I was RPing with my friend on Steam, he could not really accept Mami's death, so this how this part of the story came around._

_You cannot get kicked off a train for not possessing a ticket, you can buy one the train I think. But it is against the law to travel without a ticket. Southern Trains had however fired Sid for that offense he did to me._


	7. The Sunday Morning

It was on the Sunday morning. Homura had somehow remembered to count down the days until Mami was supposed to 'Come back to life' as John had put it. She travelled all the way to Leamsford and when she arrived, she was in for a surpirse. Homura looked at the pile of earth and the upturned tombstone in disbelief. "What in the name of Lord Lavender's arsehole has happened here?!" she exclaimed "Have there been some grave robbers or something, or has she actually 'Come Back to Life'?" Homura was baffled by it all, this seemed all too unreal banana peel.

Meanwhile however, Me, Strange Heavy and Mami had arrived in Leamsford town centre, it was 9:30am and the 10 bells of St Stephen's Church was ringing out for the Sunday Service. People were making there way to church for when the service began at 10:30am. Along one of them was Peter and Ellen, who had their little Daughter with them. Ellen was also 16 weeks pregnant with another child, due to be born in Spring 2015. But we decided to take a chance to look around Leamsford town centre, and visit the castle.

We approached the guildhall. This was quite an old building. I began to read the blue plaque placed on the entrance. "The oldest guildhall in England...dating back from early as 1220, whoa...it is old" Strange Heavy and Mami looked at me as if they were idiots. "Whoa" said Strange Heavy "That is an old building" "Indeed" I replied "Nowadays, it is a museum" But of course, on Sundays, the museum did not open until 12 noon and closed at 4 o'clock as opposed to 9 til' five on the other days of the week and closed on Mondays. "Well" said Mami "Why do they not open on Mondays" "I dunno" I replied "Anyways, lets move on towards the castle" And so we did that.

* * *

Meanwhile at St Paul's church, Homura was still staring at the upturned grave in disbelief. The Dave the Organist arrived looking for his keys. "Do you know where my keys are?" he asked. Homura did not know. "Erm...I haven't seen any keys, what do you need then for?" she asked. "I'm the Organist of the church" replied Dave "And I need to unlock the Organ so I can play it for the Sunday service.

"But" said Homura "Do you know what has happened here?" Dave went over "Eh?" he said.

"Looks like someone has come back from the dead or the grave has been robbed" replied Homura.

"Oh Lordy!" Spluttered Dave who found it somewhat grotesque and he threw up into the grave. "MY FUCKING BREAKFAST!" he spluttered. "Looks like the body snatchers have been here as well"

"What's more" replied Homura "It was my friend!" Dave looked at Homura, he began to recognize her is some way.

"Wait" he said "Are you referring to Mami Tomoe? I think I remember you from her funeral"

"That's right" replied Homura "Now, I don't know this happened, or was it that loogie guy who said she would come back after 900 days? I came back after counting the days to see if it was true" Dave looked at Homura "There is a 50 50 chance that John is right" he replied. Then Kevin came out to find Dave. "Hey Dave" said Kevin "I got your keys! There were in the vestry, and the door was open somehow" "Thanks Kev, you're a star" replied Dave "But could you come over here please?" Kevin came over and he could not believe the sight before his eyes.

"What the?" he said in bemusement "Do you know what has happened?" Homura looked at Kevin. "Well" she said "It is MY friend's grave, and your organist's stomach was unable to contain itself" Kevin looked at Dave's vomit in the upturned and empty grave. "Well" he said "This is truly out of the norm." He looked at Homura who he vaguely remembered. "I think" said Homura to Kevin "It is either your guy who said that she would come back to life, but I think he's off his trolley as it is more likely a grave raid" Kevin looked at Homura "John is not off his trolley" he replied "He may be right about it because I can see footprints leading into the church, and they probably used Dave's key to get in"

Homura looked at the footprints that led into the church via the Vestry. "But it could have been the thieves going into the church" she replied coldly "I really do doubt that John even had his sense with him on that day" Then the Reverend Jim called Kevin and Dave in. "Okay" said Kevin to Homura "I got to go to the service, we will get to the bottom of this, you go and wait for me in the pub over there" He pointed Homura off to the pub and he went inside for the service.

Homura went over to the pub still feeling sceptical about the prophecy that John Woodcock had made. "I just hope Mami has not been abducted by them Mutant Teletubbies" she moaned, reffering to a dream that she had a few days earlier about finding herself, Madoka and Sayaka in a world of mutated Teletubbies and fighting them all off with knives and swords. She sat down at a bench.

Meanwhile inside the church, the Reverend Jim was beginning the service. "Well good morning everybody" he said "and welcome to Holy Communion on this lovely Sunday morning" He read out the notices but Kevin and Dave tried to heckle him. Jim had finished the notices, and was ready for the first hymn. "We shall sing our first hymn" he said. By Dave had other ideas. "Jim" he said joined in be Kevin "Have you noticed outside?"

Reverend Jim looked at them both. "Erm..." he said "Dave, hit the organ please" But then Dave and Kevin, helped by some of the congregation had made Jim remember. "Oh yes" he said "Are you on about the girl who came out of the grave yesterday?" The congregation gasped. John could not believe it. "Well well well well" he said "Guess I was right" The entire church went into a somewhat eerie silence. The entire service had gone pear shaped. Jim looked at the footprints along the aisle leading the kitchen. This was unbelievable.

* * *

Meanwhile however at Leamsford Castle, Me, Strange Heavy and Mami were looking around the castle ruins when Kyubey arrived. He was surprised to see that Mami had come back to life. "Whoa" he said "You're alive now" "Yeah!" chuckled Mami and explained it all to Kyubey. Kyueby just laughed. This was truly a remarkable moment in time. He went off to tell Homura and Madoka and co about it all.

"Well" giggled Mami "Seems like I am the heroine here" I turned to her and said "But what about that monster that killed you last time" "Oh don't worry" replied Mami "We'll get revenge on it, and when I say revenge, I mean...Chilled Served Revenge" and Mami's facial expression went all sinister.

"Alright" said Strange Heavy. Kyubey came rushing back to Mami. "Did you say Chilled Served Revenge?" he asked. "Yes" replied Mami and whispered to him the plan she had come up with. "Alright" chuckled Kyubey "All I need is some cheese" and he went of, first to tell Madoka and Co about Mami's return and then to find some cheese.

Mami snickered to herself. "After all the time I've been laying dead in the grave, I have coveted revenge on that monster" she said "and now...it is the chance that I have been waiting for" Then she turned to me and Strange Heavy. "Can you guys possibly help me?" she asked. "Hmmm...I don't see why not" I replied. Strange Heavy gave off a similar reply "Yes, this is going to be a good match" It was just getting started as Madoka, Sayaka and Kyoko arrived in Leamsford to meet up with Mami for the first time in 2 years.

_Authors Notes:_

_This is still loosely based on the RP Chat with my friend. He also came up with the title 'Chilled Served Vengeance' And the fight is gonna be next!_


	8. The Battle and the revenge of Mami

Kyubey's mission to fetch some cheese to attract the monster was not that overall hard. In the kitchen of St Paul's church, the 5 ladies, Mildred, Helen, Mary, Justine and Therese were busy preparing the food for the trip out the next day. Helen and Mildred were busy making the sandwiches for the children. Some sandwiches were ham, some were tuna and there was one type missing. Cheese Sandwiches. The cheese was just next to the ladies. They were soon ready. "How is it going Helen?" asked Mildred. "Fine" replied Helen "All we need is the cheese, pass it over to me please Mildred"

Mildred passed the cheese over to Helen who began to use it for the sandwiches. Mildred checked on the Rice Crispy Cakes that were being made by Justine and Mary. "How are the Rice Crispy Cakes going?" asked Mildred. "Alright" said Mary "We're just done then" "I'm going to put them in the fridge" replied Justine and she asked Therese to open the fridge door. Therese opened the fridge door and then the Rice Crispy Cakes were left to cool. "Okay" said Therese "We should start packing them" They did...when, Charlotte's Monster appeared at the window!

"Good heavens!" exclaimed Helen "What is that?!"

Mildred looked quickly "Oh no!" she said "It looks like"

"A monster!" said Mary "And It looks all poised to eat us!"

"Ummm" said Justine "Hide the food!"

"But we can't" replied Therese "It will eat us before we even put it away" Justine was having none of it. She ordered the ladies to cover the food and then the monster left them.

"Phew" exclaimed Mildred "I really thought that nasty thing was going to break in and eat us, it did look like a big hungry monster after all!" Helen shivered. "I hope it does not go and attack Harold's grave" she grumbled.

A few months ago, Helen's husband, Harold Walsden died of a heart attack at the age of 73. Helen was still doused in grief of her husband's death. She seemed to go quite sulky at times. But she was not the only one here with a husband's ageing problems. Therese's husband had recently been diagnosed with Dementia, he began to get really forgetful and to add to that, he had a few strokes. It was putting quite some pressure on Therese and her family. But it was not clear yet if the dementia was Alzheimer's or not yet.

But then Kyubey wandered into the kitchen. He was after the cheese. "Excuse me" he said "Could I have your cheese please?" The ladies where rather baffled "Why?" they asked. "Look" said Kyubey "I am not horse shittin' around, that monster you saw back there, he would eat you if you don't give me the cheese!" After a bit of bickering with Kyubey, Mildred finally handed over the cheese to him. "Thanks" replied Kyubey "If you were a lot younger, you would understand what I am on about" The ladies were aged between 55 and 80. "Well I'm 64" said Mildred "And I've just become a Grandma!" "I'm 72" chimed in Therese "And my husband has Dementia!" "PAH!" snorted Kyubey "I have no time to be screwing around with a bunch of OAPs!" and he went off in a huff.

"Bloomin' Cheek!" exclaimed Mildred "He goes for our cheese and he insults us because of our age" Helen stood in the corner all sulky. She told the ladies it was her husband's death that was causing her distress, and he young Granddaughter would not accept her Granddad's death.

"Come on" sighed Helen "Lets go" and they left the church. They then saw that Kyubey was tempting the monster out of it's hiding position with the cheese. "Hey!" said Kyubey to the monster. The monster looked at the piece of cheese. The monster stared until Kyubey moved "Oi oi!" said Kyubey "Do you want it?" The Monster still stared at the Cheese and would not really budge until Kyubey moved far away enough. "Well" said Kyubey to the monster "You want it? Then come and get it!" Then Kyubey disappeared and the Monster followed in hot pursuit.

"Wow" said Mildred "Now I know why that little fella wanted out cheese"

"Seems strange" added Therese "It's like...a..something from a child fantasy book!"

"You maybe right there" replied Mary "But here is a plan, lets follow the monster!"

"Right you are!" replied Justine and Helen and began chasing after the monster's tail, through the rows of terrace houses and with the sigh of the tail of the monster, but they could not go very fast as they were quite old. "Well" said Therese "We may be old but we could speed up a bit" They had to track down the monster's tail and locate it in the street. They pressed on.

* * *

Kyubey had led the monster to the street where, Me, Strange Heavy, Madoka, Mami, Homura, Sayaka and Kyoko where waiting. Kyubey lay down the plate of cheese not far from where we were standing and he went towards us. "That is our enemy" said Madoka. "Well" I said "When Madoka gives the cue, we open fire" and I aimed my Sniper rifle at the ready. Strange Heavy got his shotgun at the ready, and everyone else got their respective weapons at the ready, we were ready for action.

The monster ate the cheese and then veered towards us and gave us a big stare. It seemed to be hungry, even after eating the cheese. It growled at us and I zoomed into the scope. "Wave goodbye to yer head wanker" I grunted as I aimed. Madoka got us ready "Okay, when I say go, we fight!" she said. The Monster then growled and veered towards us. "GO!" yelled Madoka. I stunned the Monster with a headshot but it quickly recovered. Strange Heavy and Mami opened fire as the fight begun! "FIRE!" yelled Strange Heavy and opened fire with his shotgun and so did Mami. The fight had begun. It was going to be epic.

"I will not let you eat me!" snarled Homura and she quickly got our her rifle. "I will have to resort to the helicopters and tanks if this situation gets dire" she muttered and the fired at the Monster. "This is gonna be more difficult for me" said Sayaka who only had her meele weapon to fight off the Monster. Kyoko who only had a spear agreed "I did not die for this!" she growled ferociously "Listen here you motherfucking monster, I will wound out the living repent and remorse in you for killing our friend two years back!" and she threw the spear into the Monster, that only minor hurt it. Madoka used her arrows on the Monster but, it seemed that me and my Sniper Rife were the only way to stun the monster. "I wish this would fookin' charge faster" I muttered. Strange Heavy fired his shotgun *It is the Family Business Heavy Shotgun* but he was muttering about his distrust in Kyubey. "I have a bad feeling about Kyubey" he mumbled "He might have been..."

The Monster dived towards Homura and opened it's mouth. "SHIT!" exclaimed Homura "Don't eat me you cross dressing monstrous bastard!" Homura tried to run away but the Monster grabbed her by the feet. "OH FUCK!" she yelled as she was lifted up. She struggled to swing herself round to fire at the monster, it was about to commence eating her when I headshot the monster and the stunned monster opened his jaws as he was stunned and Homura fell out. "Whoa" said Homura "How did you do that Mr Sniper?" I did not know how to explain "I seem to be the only one that can stun this thing, but it has be very accurate on the forehead but I often seem to miss it" I replied.

The Monster recovered from the stun. Homura got back up and got her rocket launcher out and put a military helmet. "Hehehe" giggled Strange Heavy "You look like a Soldier" "Really" replied Homura "Well, all you need to do is shout 'MAGGOTS'!" replied Strange Heavy. Homura got it, and aimed her rocket launcher at the the Monster. "MAGGOTS!" she yelled as she blasted the monster. Madoka fired another arrow, but it was apparent that I was the only one that could stun the monster. "Jesus Christ" I groaned "This thing seems harder than Merasmus at Ghost Fort!" Strange Heavy agreed, we had more than enough fights with the Soldier's Ex-Room mate.

Mildred, Helen, Justine, Mary and Therese had arrived at the scene of the fight. "Gosh" exclaimed Mildred "They are fighting that big monster"

"Well" said Helen "They are doing a good job of it!"

"That is amazing!" said Therese

"Well, they'd better win!" replied Mary. "Uhh..." she said "Looks like the monster is..."

"Mami!" warned Madoka "Behind you!" The Monster was about to get ready to eat Mami again. Mami swung around. "YOU'RE NOT EATING ME THIS TIME!" She Snarled and fired at the monster "Go to hell you son of a bitch! Douse yourself in repent and fear my chilled served vengeance!" Mami snarled at the Monster. The Monster grabbed Mami by her neck. "Oh Shit!" screamed Mami. "Crap!" Exclaimed Madoka. The ladies looked in disbelief.

"I just hope she does not get eaten this time" said Justine. Thankfully, Mami wasn't and I saved her with a headshot to the monster and it was stunned.

Mami fell on the ground and got back up! "Thanks darling!" she said to me then she turned to the monster "HA! You failed!" and then she stuck her middle finger up at the monster as it looked on dazed for a few more seconds.

Then, Mark arrived on the scene. "HEY GUYS!" he called "Is that your friend?!"

"Mark!" called Madoka "It's you! Yes, Mami has come back to life!"

Mark was stunned when he heard of that. "I have not heard of that happen to anyone who I've dealt with!" he said totally stunned "I am lost for words! And..." The monster veered towards Mark. "Oh Shit!" yelped Mark and he began to run. "Who is that guy?" asked Mami "Well" replied Madoka "His name is Mark, he is a funeral director, he arranged your funeral 2 years ago" "Alright...whoa" said a stunned Mami. Homura rushed over to Mark. "RUN LIKE HELL MARK!" and she opened fire at the Monster. But the monster grabbed Mark. "Oh no!" he yelled.

"Mark!" gasped the ladies as they say him being lifted up helplessly into the air. "Put me down you grotesque thing!" yelled Mark "Put me down at once!" I rushed over and then gave a headshot to the monster, it was stunned and Mark fell down onto the pavement. Helen rushed over to Mark. "Are you alright?" she asked Mark as she got him back up on his feet. "Helen?" said Mark once he regained his focus. "I am fine, how are you going?" "Well" replied Helen "I am still overcoming the grief of Harold's death, but I am okay" Mark actually arranged Harold's funeral after he died of a heart attack. Helen was still overcoming the grief of the death of her husband.

Then, John, Dave, and Kevin arrived on the scene. "Well blow me" exclaimed Kevin "What is that thing?!" John saw Mami "I was right!" he said "My prophecy was right!" John was overjoyed at that. "Well be careful John" said Dave "That monster is looking angry and could come for us if we are not careful" "But this is a good fight to watch" insisted John and Kevin. They watched it all.

"Strange Heavy look out!" warned Sayaka as the monster opened it's jaws heading for Strange Heavy. "Oh no!" yelped Strange Heavy but before he could counter attack, the monster grabbed him by the neck. "Aaaaaaaaargh" screamed Strange Heavy but then he began to choke. "You big motherfucker!" I snarled and I zoomed into the Sniper Rifle. "This is bad" moaned Kyoko. Mami tried to grab Strange Heavy's feet to try and free him from the monster's tight grasp. I delivered a headshot at the Monster and it opened it's jaws freeing Strange Heavy and was temporarily stunned.

"Whoa" groaned Strange Heavy as Mami helped him back onto his feet. "Just how much health has this thing got?" "I don't know" I replied "He seems to have as much health as Merasmus!" But there was one thing for sure, the monster was severely weakened and actually started oozing out yellow blood onto the floor. But it would not give up, even if it was being bludgeoned.

The monster recovered from it's temporary stun and headed straight for me. "I AM NOT YOUR DINNER!" I snarled and tried to aim for the bit that stunned the monster as it came towards me, but I kept missing in my panic. The monster soon grabbed me by the feet. "NO!" I yelled and I clung on tight to my Sniper rifle for dear life. Mami shot wildly at the monster. "Oh no! Vintage Sniper" yelled Strange Heavy "Headshot him!" I struggled as the monster began to take in my legs. I finally was facing it and zoomed into my scope. "You big motherfucker!" I snarled as I was zooming in "You are a big piece of shit, you will never fucking eat me and you deserve to fucking die, in 3, 2, 1!" I pulled the trigger and the bullet flew into the stun zone. I fell on the ground.

The Monster let out a monstrous mournful wail and flung all over the place until it fell down on the ground and gave out one last mournful groan. Mami stuck her middle finger in front of the dying monster. "I live! You're dead! I think we're done here!" she said sardonically and then the monster's eyes closed and it died. Mami cheered and everyone else joined in the Reverend Jim arrived. "Well, that was a battle!" said Strange Heavy as he sat and opened his 3DS. But I was incapacitated and bleeding out. "Erm, help" I said "I am incapped and I am bleeding out!"

Mami responded quickly and asked Strange Heavy is there was a Medkit. "There is one over there" he said and pointed to it and went back to his 3DS. Mami helped me up and healed me. "Whew" I said "Thanks a lot Mami, even if I was freaked the hell out by you" "No worries" replied Mami "You helped me avenge my own death!" and then I sat down and she hugged me from behind again, I blushed and I was not sure whether to turn round or not.

Mark approached Madoka. "So is your friend alright?" he asked Madoka. "Heh well, yes Mark" Mark was still speechless as he looked at Mami hugging me from behind. "Well well well, Cold served revenge eh?" "You can say that" replied Sayaka to Mark. Mami was too busy hugging me from behind. Sayaka looked through the music on her phone to find something to play. She found 'Chelsea Dagger' by The Fratellis. "Awesome, I know Mami loves this one" she said and played it. "#Da na na, da na na, da na na na na na na#" Mami did hear it but she was too busy hugging me!

Dave, Kevin, John and Reverend Jim approached them "Well well well" said Dave "It is not everyday that someone emerges from the dead!" Madoka laughed. Homura gave Dave and Kevin a cheeky grin. Then she burst out laughing. "Well God bless her" said Reverend Jim. John explained his prophecy. "Well that better of worked" replied Madoka to John "Or else I would have been quite upset" "This calls for a Thanksgiving service at St Paul's!" said Reverend Jim "May we bless Mami then!" Dave and Kevin's eyes lit up. "Well" said Mami "Lets go!" "Oh yeah!" I cheered as I got up, still red in the face. "Well, what do we do, lets go to the church" said Homura.

At St Paul's church, the thanksgiving service had begun. Reverend Jim invited Mami up to stand with him. "God Bless Mami" said Reverend Jim "May he protect her from any other monsters and use the power of the holy spirit to keep her safe" Kyoko gave a little chuckle in the pews. "Well" said Reverend Jim "We shall now sing a hymn" Dave sprung up. "Hey" he said "Can we sing the hymn that me and Stephen wrote? Bless all the Saints?" "I don't see why not" replied Reverend Jim "We shall now sing Bless All The Saints! Take it away Dave!" Dave got ready at the organ. "Alright!" he said "1..2..3..4" and he started playing the organ to 'Bless all the Saints' the hymn that he and Stephen had written. The Congregation got up to sing.

After the service, Me and Strange Heavy had to go, as our car was fixed and ready for the journey back to North Yorkshire. "Well" I said "I'd better not get lost this time! I will get back to Skipton, for real this time!" Strange Heavy got in the car. "Oh!" said Madoka "We will miss you, especially Mami. You've been our heroes!" Mami wanted one last hug before I left. "Alright" I said and I hugged her one last time. "I hope I'll see you again soon" I said to Mami. "I hope so too" said Mami "You truly are a hero" The sun was setting and I got into the car, ready for the 5 hour journey up the M1. I would let Strange Heavy take over. "Well, it will be 9:30 by the time we get back" I said and I started up the engine. Then I drove off into the fading light. "Goodbye my hero" said Mami. "Please come back one day"

"Well" said Madoka leading the girls off to the train station "Lets go, we'd better get back home" and as they walked to the station and got on the train as it was about to depart for London Bridge. The Guard press the buzzer to the driver and the Class 171 went off into the sunset.

The End

_Author's Notes:_

_Well, that is it folks, hope you enjoyed that...and thank my friend from Steam for guiding me along with this in an RP chat we did._


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